You can’t. You won’t. Don’t even bother. Move along. Forget her.
I’m imagining some broken-hearted, emotionally overwhelmed, shell-shocked men reading these first few short comments above and wanting to click on another site that wants to tell you how you can magically win back the heart of that wonderful, sweet, gorgeous princess that for some reason got tired of their ways, their neediness, their beta-ness, their desperate pleas for affection – those sites and pieces of advice are only going to cause you more pain and anguish.
I think there is a time in every man’s life, be he a player, good with women, natural, socially competent, somewhat outgoing – all the way to the other spectrum of hopeless romantics, white knights, friend zoners, and barely capable of social interactions – that he has fallen under that magic oneitis spell – the crush, the over burdened heart aching, über passionate obsession. Even the ultra status men have a story or two of a magical vixen that had stolen his heart – or better yet, spun him seemingly right off the planet – knocked him off his axis – shattered the entire visage of an ego, and confidence. No man is completely immune in this world. And in this day and age of over feminization and wussification of the male populace, it has occurred at more staggering instances.
After all, in these cases how could he not – there is always something about said pedastal-ized girl – her curled locks dangling over her cheek, her ruddy lips parting moist and inviting, her giggling coy behaviour, her glassy stare into your eyes, her soft creamy skin, gentle glistening wetness between her slender thighs, the roaring orgasms she gets in the heat of passionate bed play - the childlike innocence she portrays – the teasing – the playing – the happiness. It is hard not to fall into the oblivion of deep crushing, attachment, and to be honest, addiction. And then… it’s gone.
There’s a turnaround moment that will catch a man caught under this magic spell that will shake the earth he walks on – knock him off his feet – send him spiraling downwards in an abyss of wonder, mystery, and shame – the sudden withdrawal of the opiate that is the pedastalized angel. What happened? What did he do? What can he change? He doesn’t understand. Under this state of shock after being slapped with a life sentence with out the object of his desires, the one thing that he now finds himself unable to live with out – it is impossible for him to understand. The seeds of the separation were buried in his very obsession, love, lust, and admiration for the oh so special girl. But it defies everything he ever knew, was taught, was told from society, his mother, his girl friends – it just doesn’t feel right, or make logical sense. He is destroyed. He is at his lowest possible level of attractiveness. He is no longer a man, but a quivering child clutching for his mother to comfort him. He is worse than beta. He is projecting sympathy. At the most, the object will feel sorry for him, at the worst, she will be utterly repulsed and want to shed all memories of her encounter with this shell of a man.
When you are in this state, you will never get her back. Nor should you ever want to. Oh I could tell you ways that might get her back briefly - read the rest of my site, and you will learn how to get yourself out of the hole and realize the true nature of women, and how to you need to behave in order to get women. But, a girl, no matter what, when she has lost attraction for a man, lost the tingle of the ‘gina, lost the lust, passion and flame for a man, will ever get it back for him.
Oh if you are married, or in a long term relationship with a girl, she might come back out of a sense of duty, or she’s so entrenched in the old relationship that she tries to rationalize that she still loves you – but she will never be the same. The first sign of an exciting male that offers a passionate affair will have her spreading her legs for him on the sly, or in the open, callously rubbing your face in it. Once a girls rationalized something she will feel no regrets about any of her actions. It will be easier for her to rationalize the destruction of your relationship with the flooding her ‘gina gets in the new man’s embrace.
No matter how short or long your relationship, nor how passionate and intense you feel – if she has lost the attraction for you, you are finished. You must move on.
You should have flirted with other girls while in this relationship, you should have set up potential fall backs, or potentials – but you didn’t, and you weren’t. Getting over your oneitis could be 90% relieved in the sexual ravaging of another babe – but most likely you are as unattractive to other girls as you are to the one that got away.
If this seems harsh, it is not meant to be. I only wish when I was going through this, someone wrote this for me. Chasing a lost love, a girl who has lost interest in you, lost attraction will only lead to more pain. If you are in a desperate place of withdrawal from oneitis, you need to forget about her at all costs, build yourself up and open yourself up to other girls. Don’t even analyze what you did wrong, reading this you should already know, you were needy, gave in to her whims, gave her too many compliments, was wrapped around her little finger, she owned you, and she lost attraction.
Start losing the ability to have the thin veil of illusions that girls are something to be worshipped and innocent creatures – stop pedastalizing them – stop appeasing them. Don’t hate them, just learn to love them for what they are.
Don’t contact her. Don’t wait a certain amount of time to then contact her. Forget her. Go out with your friends, and do as much as you can to get her out of your mind. Learn game, learn new things. And always remember…
Dreams pass… in time.