This sad and all too frequent tale was revealed to me thanks to Gmac from his twitter feed, and I decided to take up the task of laying some much needed game advice for this all too typical frustrated male in the dating world. For one reason, it’s actually one of the three reasons I started this blog, and one of two reasons I focused on game on the blog as much as I had. This poor guy’s story of going on three dates with a girl and doing everything “right” lands him in the phantom zone of a girls disinterest… the beta behaviour that he deems correct and probably noble, backfires on him leaving him frustrated and wondering what happened. I’m sure every man has been there at one point in his life, and so many men out there are still not awakened from the matrix. In the manosphere bubble we can start to believe that we’re just beating a dead horse over and over, and it can seem like we’ve done our job, yet poor victims like this guy who calls himself single city guy (dude that name reeks of staying single – from the post you will look at that title and suggest he change it, because you know he doesn’t want to be single.) As part of the justice league of the manosphere I take it upon myself to help this poor victim of the dating world out. So here it goes.
First off, dude puts this as the header for his blog about picking up a girl on the subway. Now I’m
assuming hoping this isn’t the same girl, because it’s fucking creepy. If it is, your first lesson SCG is stop being a stalker creep. Now it’s obviously not the same girl… but just picking this picture shows he’s got the beta oneitis syndrome to the extreme. Why wouldn’t he choose a picture of a guy and a girl chatting it up on the subway, one where she’s smiling and he’s leading? Instead of the feminist reinforcement of possible rape if things don’t go his way in the future. The guy needs some help fast.
You can read the full article here. I am giving you fore-warning that you will cringe… a lot. Even on my selections here you will cringe, so get ready.
A few months ago, I wrote about an experience of picking up a woman while on the train. I never talked about what happened afterwards, and if I was successful. Not to spoil the post, but my experience ends in frustration, although it was a very positive experience. Train Woman was cool, we had matching attitudes and sarcasm to bounce jokes off of each other, and remain playful, and flirtatious. Approaching her on the train, seemed to add to the playful, witty nature of our banter. It showed that I’m bold and decisive with my actions.
Okay let’s take some positives out of this first. One, he’s got enough boldness and confidence to attempt and successfully pick up a girl on the subway, already he’s far and above most men, so he isn’t completely a lost cause. His problems stem from his worldview of himself and women. He believes the lies we have shredded here at the shift. He goes on to say it leads to frustration, but ends up being a positive experience? What? No it doesn’t, it doesn’t because you didn’t learn a damn thing from the experience, at the end of the post he’s just as lost as to the mystery of women and why she eventually rejects him. He is however correct that the initial pick up is positive and decisive, but no man really cares how good at picking up women he is, he cares about banging them or not. He does not know how to convert. He gets to the goal line and gets stuffed then misses the field goal to boot.
The first date went well, it started off as drinks, but turned into a dinner. Things were going so well, that it lasted for four hours, opposed to just one. This was a good sign, one that led to a second date.To say that I planned the perfect second date would be an understatement. If this were baseball, I scored a grand slam. She had recently returned from a trip, and deeply missed the experience, mainly because of its music. The city she visited is deeply rooted in Jazz and Southern Blues. Train Woman was deeply involved in music, and one of the reasons we seemed to get along. We seemed to connect to music in the say way. Instead of just experiencing music, listening to live music is damn near religious. In a sense, music fuels me, fuels my attitude, and direction, a trait she also shared, which became clear on our date. I knew of a place that performed the type of music she missed while on her trip. I knew I had done well when she kissed me on the cheek without warning and said “this is perfect, thank you!”
Rarely, does a guy discovers a woman’s emotional center and matches it with an event or experience, very early in the dating process. It was clear I had accomplished this feat, and the results showed. When we parted, we made out in the train station. This has happened before, I knew where this was going. Or so I thought.
I had to put the entire description from date one to illustrate where this man goes wrong, and some things he’s doing right. At the end he says rarely does a guy discover a woman’s emotional center and matches it with an event or experience so early in the dating process. Not. True. Game teaches you to do this with every woman. And players and naturals can do this with ease with a variety of women. Increasing your passion base and knowledge and experience helps you in being in tune with her, and he seemed to successfully do this with this girl, which is probably why she went out with him again, oh yeah, and he escalated at the end… but he didn’t close. You can tell by his language that he thought this was going to lead to something, I assume sex, but he was thinking, relationship.
Reading over his descriptions of this woman from a first date gives you ramblings of a man deeply obsessed over a girl after one date – oneitis struck this guy hard at the first emotional connection he had with her – he planted her so far up on the pedestal there was no way he could take her down from it after this. She owned him, and it shows in the next few dates.
Train Woman has a very busy schedule. It’s something I respected, and enjoyed. The best way to reach her was thru text, and planning a date was much like planning a meeting in the future. This was a perfect match, as my schedule is crazy as well, and the best way to reach me is via text (or e-mail). “Finally,” I thought to myself one day, “someone who understands my schedule and lifestyle!” In hindsight, I wonder if this wasn’t something that isn’t as compatible as I had once thought. I had developed the habit of ending a date with a potential next date, and confirming later in the week. The third date worked in similar faction, as she invited me to a friends performance. It was an interesting experience, as I was meeting one of her best friends, on the third date. Usually this was a situation left for a couple in a relationship, not someone on date three. Regardless, it was a pleasant time, and had a brief kiss to end the evening. Things seemed to be going well.
Just listening to this guy idealize this woman as already his soul mate and long term girlfriend before he’s even banged her yet is excruciating, but it points out all the things beta males do when out with a cute girl who gives him attention and dates and kisses – the poor bastard can’t help it – whats a man to think?
The man is lost into turning obvious signs of disinterest into speeding the dating process to a conclusion of commitment, and again he hadn’t even banged her yet. The third date that she brought a friend was a clear sign that she wasn’t into him, yet due to the kiss afterwards, hadn’t really discounted him yet. The third date was his last chance to grow some balls, if he didn’t she wouldn’t be stuck alone with him and could enjoy her night because her friend was there – yet SCG thinks it’s a positive sign that she’s bringing him into her world and showing him off to her friends. This is not what girls do, until after they have successfully gained some commitment from you. She does not want to risk her slutty friends to you because you’ll probably sleep with them – no girl that wants you and hasn’t slept with you yet after two dates isn’t going to introduce you to her friends unless she thinks of you as a friend or wants to pawn your sorry ass off.
He gets so attached at the most trivial things, ‘she has a busy life, so do I!!!!!!! We are so perfect together!!!” now picture him drawing hearts around his and her name on his school notebook. Yes this is how girls behave not men. It should be more like this: Damn this girls actually got a life, leaves me more time to enjoy mine and bang other girls without her dominating my time. I might keep this one in my rotation.” that’s how a man should react, not this romantic needy and feminine tripe.
Everything seemed to fall apart from that point. In hindsight, I think I became comfortable and attempted to interject myself into her schedule too much. I was led on by the nature of the last three dates, and thought things were leading in a certain direction. At the same time, parts of her personal life seemed to hit a road bump, which seemed to spiral a bit of her life out of control, which could have been another reason. I wonder if we had met at a different time would things have been better. Either way, in trying to set up another time to see her, I received a message that included “you’ve been very nice to me, nicer than most guys” and “I think we should just be friends.” This too has also happened before, and I knew where this was going. I had been rejected, even though I had done everything right. I think.
Here he spells out his fallacy. Things were heading in a certain direction after 3 dates, just not the one he built up in his head, she became dissatisfied by his beta behaviour and probably was inundated by the sense of neediness and obsession from the man. Girls don’t want a guy that jumps in at the word go, she wants to feel like she’s winning something, the prize of the alpha male. She wants an aloof and confident man who doesn’t commit to just anyone, and if you understand women at all, you know that the sooner you do, the sooner she loses respect for you, because she doesn’t think of herself as all that great. Her sense of self worth is how she is perceived and treated by a high value man, not some in love I’m planning our wedding date right now kind of man.
Her mysterious actions and words of you have been nicer than most men, leads to confusion for this poor sap. Most men? You mean the alpha cads you have been hopping on and off their cocks for years? Nice = not sexually attracted to your sorry ass. If this guy learned game, he could have all that he wanted with this girl, instead of blowing his load on the idea’s of who she is and what she wants and what turns her on. Women do not just want a man who’s sweet and nice – they want a man who understands all their emotional complexity, most importantly a man who can fulfill the sexual eroticism and fantasy elements that makes girls go gaga. This man did none of that.
To say that I was frustrated is an understatement. We seemed to go from “this is perfect!” to “let’s be friends!” instantly. It wasn’t gradual. if this were a test, I was getting an A, so how the hell did I fail the course? This experience pissed me off, and while it was a great experience and one with a wonderful woman, I ended up where I had begun. Single. The only difference: I’ve become only more frustrated at women.
Not understanding why women act the way they do and understanding what turns them on, will always lead to frustration. The man is lost in the world without a guide and let this blog be a guide for him and others like him. He was not getting an A – he was getting a B, then a C, and then a F – and yet he still calls her a wonderful woman. You can tell that after months have passed by he still pines for her, and is left in a daze of bewilderment on what happened. And the closing summation, he is becoming even more of an Average Frustrated Chump.
Well my friend, there is a way out of this spiral of disaster that is your dating life, and it is by learning game. You are off to a good start already by having the balls and charisma to pick up a girl on a subway, now read this blog and learn how to segway that into what you want. This blog and others in the Justice League Of The Manosphere are here to help you. Read up, before you become too frustrated and go off to live your remaining sexual market place years playing WoW.