A reader writes:
it would seem
that married men all over the world, irrespective of color or culture suffer a
similar fate at some time or another.A t some point in time the wife decides
that she will covertly dictate the sexual schedule in the house eg. “we will
have sex when I feel like it attitude” and for some receiving head (oral sex)
becomes something that only happened in the distant past. Regarding bj’s, well
she now no longer feels like doing it and has “never actually” liked doing it,
but will perhaps give you one on your birthday and Valentines day, maybe. So
what is a man to do? Firstly, I would bet all my worldly possessions that
these bitches would NOT pull a move like this prior to marriage, like if they
were still just going out with the guy, or just moved in with him, in which
case most guys….even the beta would put them out on their asses. But being
married changes the sphere wherein “the game” is played! My take is that the
only true way to TAKE BACK your power is ultimately divorce, however this is
costly and risky, is there another way, another option for such a man to get a
one up in his marriage and get the power back? Any advice?
A few things here, I’m not sure this is a rampant problem all over the world, the west for sure, as the west spreads it’s parasitic views around the world, it may be seeping in more and more, but I’m not so sure it’s saturated every country yet.
Secondly, in the current modern landscape divorce is not a tool to get hand, as you will lose at least half your shit to a girl, so you can’t use that as a tool to gain upper hand in a marriage.
The best way to get hand in a marriage is to never lose it in the first place. You are in a serious disadvantage if you are deep into a marriage where wifey has all the hand, you can learn to game your wife, and it can help, it may even save a few marriages our there, but to be brutally honest, it depends on how far her attraction has waned for said man. There is a point with any girl out there where there is no return from her sexual/emotional repulsion for a man. Despite what some people might say. I think it’s important for a man to understand this. Game will not always work. It is important for all men, in a marriage or not to realize he should cease all efforts in ‘winning’ her over or back.
There isn’t a catch all for this situation, it works a bit different if you were masculine and very attractive to her in the beginning, for getting back to basics of game or being a man will work, whereas if the man was always under her spell, he’s really got no chance if all of a sudden he starts acting like an aloof alpha male. The seeds of repulsion will be no match for your feeble skills, you will feel the true power of the dark side.
The ultimate benefit you have in dealing with marriage however is your routine. Simply start messing with that routine in order to spark the hamster in her again. Some guys go too far with this and rebel against wifey by starting to hit strip clubs and hanging with single friends like a nuclear bomb going off in their married life. This is too much, she’ll react with anger and spite and increase her distaste for you. The trick is to do it subtly and infrequently, slyly reinstating spontaneity in her dreary routine life with the guy. The subtle mystery of slightly messing with the routines while remaining indifferent and aloof about them will be enough to get her hamster on her wheel. Once you see it start to work, you will see hand return to you, and you build on it from there, learning to never relent or find yourself the forgotten man she happens to be living with.
Donlak is correct in that there may be a point of no return… where nothing you do can bring it back. And getting it back is a process. You might want to take a look at “The Married Man Sex Life” blog. The offers a Male Action Plan (MAP) that is all about “sparking the hamster.”
While many (myself included) have seen good results in relationships by applying these principles, there are certainly cases where it won’t work.
^ Yeah truth. He has a forum now too. That dude is the Blake Griffin of saving marriages.
http://marriedmansexlife.com/blog/
There aren’t any ideal sexual experiences in the world, I don’t think. Every woman probably has a picture in her mind of what she would or wouldn’t like. And every man has a picture in his mind. And they’re never identical. Maybe once in a thousand you would say, “This marriage represents her receiving and giving exactly she wants, and him receiving and giving exactly what he wants. They’re always in total harmony all the time.” That just never happens virtually, which means that marriage is a test case for sanctification and for self-denial. And it works both ways.
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Athol Kay is indeed the authority on married game. What he taught me was:
She really does want to be married to the uncaring asshole who isn’t interested in what she thinks. Married game isn’t that much different than single game, same principles as LTR game. It’s just easier to get soft when you have a girl permanently in your life because you stop trying or give up being your true self.
Being a husband doesn’t mean being a pussy even though everybody in your life will tell you otherwise and shame you for non-compliance. Don’t let her drive and don’t ask where or what she wants to eat. She’s with you, that’s enough for her to be happy. Her body is your property and is to be used for your pleasure whenever you want it. Some beta is ok for her long term happiness.
True story. Once you lose hand, it’s impossible to get it back. Had to divorce mine. Won’t make the same mistake again.
A girl’s dreams come true, she gets the wedding, the expression of love (that in these circles at least) she has earned, and then what?
to be happy and keep hand is to remember that the dance never ends.
That’s why pre-nup agreements is such a good idea, it always leaves you ability to walk out of relationships and she will know it.
donlak advice is spot on, dressing better, grooming better, starting to get more hobbies and social activities is probably best the married man who doesn’t want to divorce can do.
When I told the wife about my proposal for a sister wife, she very suddenly started the full time lovey dovey routine.
She bluffs a counterattack sometimes, but sticking to my guns always neutralizes that.