I Went Back To The Future

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I jumped into my Delorean the other day an went into the dystopian future where being a man is outlawed. I wanted to see if it was the death of the player, or if nature would find a way.

When I first arrived, I found it difficult to spot anyone who looked like a man or a woman, everyone looked at me like I was a cave man, I had to go back to the Delorean and do some ferocious manscaping in the small inefficient mirrors; I didn’t have any khaki pants and plain shirts so I had to go shopping, but I couldn’t find a mens clothing shop anywhere, everything was unisex. I asked the, man? woman? thing working there what I should buy, and it started flirting with me and asked where I was from, I had a strange accent (I wasn’t speaking effeminate and with a lisp) – the sexual curiosity could be cut with a knife, I said I felt uncomfortable and the mood shifted to pleading with me not to call the cops. I scratched my head and asked if I could just get some clothes to fit in with everyone else. It obliged quickly.

After uncomfortably fitting into my blank canvas clothing, I went to find a coffee shop to view the sexual market place in its relaxed environment, all I could find however was wheat grass shakes cafe’s, people inside were all on some sort of device where they used glasses and made strange movements with their hands, there was no interaction with anyone at all, and since I didn’t want some wheat grass, I left.

I went to a ‘bar’ to check out some sports so I could do some betting when I go back in time and I reach this point in my normal timeline. What I saw was the same thing that was on the street, I could’ve sworn I saw some breasts on some of the players, they were playing soccer, and there was absolutely no touching, by the end of the match, both got awarded equal points. I asked the bartender why? He looked at me funny and asked what I wanted. The only drinks they had were wine spritzers, flirtinis, margaritas and ceasers (like bloody Mary’s for you Americans.) I asked for a scotch, the thing behind the bar said he was going to report me to the authorities if I kept inquiring about banned substances. I ordered a water, he brought me water in a bottle, I asked to see a menu, it was filled with vegetarian food, tofu, salads, etc. I asked if there were any non vegetarian restaurants nearby. He said no and b lined it to the back, presimably to call the cops. I dropped some money down for the water, 10 bucks! And bolted out of there…

I needed to find some actual women, or at least some place where there would be some seduction and romance going on, I needed to lay low and went back to the Delorean till nightfall.

To be continued…>

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