Zeems. The bar Charlie, which I had come to call her Char, much to her amusement of my old school ways, took me. She took me there because she said, “I’d fit in more there.” – as we entered through the doors, I had to pay $50 entry and she had to pay nothing. I see some things haven’t changed.
“Hey, why do I have to pay $50 bucks and she doesn’t?” I asked the bouncer.
“She’s a woman.”
“Huh? So what? Most of the time you can’t tell who’s a chick or not.”
“That’s a good one buddy, just pay the door fee.”
I paid, I normally wouldn’t, but I came to the future for one thing, to learn about it, I’ve now added a second reason, while all the guys back in my timeline were after different flags from different countries, I was going for an outta time flag.
I followed the little philly into the dark club/pub, it was the first thing that felt normal, somewhat. Inside people looked like a farse movie about the 2000′s hipster scene. I asked Char what the deal was?
“It’s a retro club, the zero’s.”
I looked around mouth agape, there was suspenders and ironic t shirts and skinny jeans all over the place, a lot of fake beards, apparently not outlawed like real beards – horn rimed glasses, long board skateboards on the wall, 50′s style bicycles hanging on the wall, the white stripes were playing, hey at least it was some what familiar. Bound to be some beer here, right? I went with the obvious hipster choice.
“You got any Pabst?”
“Sorry friend, nobody drank beer in the zero’s”
At that point Char spoke up for me, “he’ll have a martini, I’ll have a wine spritzer please.” the bartender went to make the drinks.
“Trust me, it’s the closest thing to your kind of drink they’ll serve.” Our drinks came, she paid, finally.
“What’s the deal with the drinks anyways?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why is there no, you know, like good drinks, scotch, beer, anything but these girly drinks?”
Char giggled at my comments as she had from our first meeting. “Are you serious?” I nodded I was as I took a sip. “Well those kind of drinks are only for the working class, outside of cities.” I almost did spit take.
“Working class? Outside the city?”
“Yeah I assumed that’s where you’re from, why you’re in the city I don’t know, but that’s why talked to you, two pea’s in a pod.”
“Wait, you’re from this, ‘working’ class too?”
“Yup, fish out of water, you remind me of my dad.” At least she had a cool dad I thought. We grabed a small table in the corner where I could observe more while I chatted with Char.
“So am I to believe that no one in the city works?”
“Huh? You sound like you’re from another planet.”
“Well I was in a coma for 10 years, just woke up yesterday.”
Char giggled a little more than a girl would that wasn’t attracted. “Well that explains it then.” I stared off into the distance. She picked up the conversation after a brief pause. “Those girls are totally checking you out.”
“There.” She points to a table that was coyly looking over and snapping their gaze away as I looked over.
“Those are girls? Three of them have beards.”
“Fake beards? Why would a chick wear a fake beard.”
“Well gender roles have changed since your coma.” she giggled again. I was very entertaining apparently.
After a few drinks one of the bearded ladies came over to the table to try and pick me up. “Excuse me, I just wanted to say, I love your vint outfit, where did you get it.” I turned and looked at the small framed thing, she was fit, at least she seemed it in her skinny jeans and pepsi cola t shirt that was thankfully tight, at least she had a couple nice tits. But she had this stupid fake beard on, and I was having none of that.
“At a store, how come you didn’t shave?”
“Hahaha, it’s fake silly.”
“I see that.”
“Hey I don’t have to wear it if you don’t like it.” she takes it off shyly, kind of cute, for a future chick.
“Don’t do that on my account sweetheart. Besides can’t you see I’m already with someone?”
“Sweetheart? Excuse me?”
Char perked up. “Oh crap, we should go.”
“What did you call me? I’m not your sweetheart, where do you get off trying to mock me you son of a bitch.” As she raised her voice, every head was turned on me, and it sounded like the music stopped with the scratching of a record somewhere.
“Whoa, chill out. You interrupted me, and I’d like you to leave.”
“Are you threatening me?” Char was on her feet trying to pick me up by the arm and getting in between me and the femicunt from the future.
“Let’s go.” she whispered to me. “He’s not from around here, look we’ll leave, no need to call the police.”
“Why the fuck would the police get involved?” I shouted. The whole crowd acted like I pulled out a six shooter and demanded the chick meet me at sundown. Char noticed the bartender on the phone, and pulled me away from the enraged but fearful crowd who started calling me names as we passed by. “Wait, Char what the fuck is going on?”
“The cops will be here any minute, you can’t talk to people like that.”
“Like what? And by people do you mean just chicks.”
“Fuck you’re hot, let’s go.”
As we burst out of the club, sirens were screaming in the air, we could see two cop cars racing towards us, Char thought quick and pulled me into an alley where she started bolting, “Let’s Go!” I followed as we climbed fences and parkuored the shit out of that place – okay, well we ran.
When we arrived at her place and I walked in, a robotic voice spoke my full name, and age, 10 years older than I am, and listed any diseases I had, std’s = 0. Whew, I could see that being a mood killer. She really wasn’t paying attention to it, the adventure had made her hot, she grabbed me by the shirt and threw her lips on mine and stuck her tongue down my throat and jumped up and threw her legs around me. Well, that was easy. I wasn’t used to such aggression, but I can roll. I threw her back against the wall and ripped her panties off, turned her around and fucked that bitch so hard her face was bouncing off the wall.
We banged a few more times during the night, after wards she suggested I stay here until morning, for my safety. I agreed and went to sleep. Out of time flag, acquired. All was good, until I was awoken with two police officers standing over me telling me I’m being arrested…
to be continued….>