Here’s a topic I bet you won’t find in the manosphere. Love. Philosophers and poets have waxed poignantly about the topic since we first began to speak, couples break up because they are not “in love” anymore (usually the women say this) – relationship “experts” and physcologists all think they understand it, but they don’t. I will break it down for you. Many of adoring girlfriends of my past were irked at my definition of what love is.
Love simply is love. An emotion of unconditional caring, like a parent to a child, or supposedly a god to its creations. It baffles me how Jesus can speak of this kind of love and how we should all love one another, but when it comes to him, there are conditions, like every other God, you must worship them like the narcissists they are. Of course I understand humanity and don’t believe in these God’s or any other God that would be such an arrogant selfish being. I also understand that humans wrote religious texts and not God’s and that the notion of Fearing an all loving omnipotent being is a logical fallacy but needed to control and motivate. It is historically the most effective way of controlling humanity, through fear. The lord of lies has no moral apprehensions about any topic or concept. Love is simply caring without expecting anything in return, it is pure genuine caring, and nothing more. But somewhere it got divided into parts and segments.
Romantic Love, Parental Love, Offsprings love, God Love, Love of Strangers, Love of things. But in reality there are no distinctions. People need classifications, but their fallacy is their inability to understand their own emotions and physiology, and what it is that makes us more attached to some humans and not others – they falsely deduce that they Love this person and not the other – the most confusing and damaging is romantic love.
Because being romantically involved with someone comes with a torrent of emotions and hormones, we have labelled this as love, a more intense love than others, it’s inspired young forbidden lovers to kill themselves over it, it is the crucial part to thousands of love stories, but the funny thing is, it’s a misunderstanding, for it is not a different type of love, that’s impossible, Love is simply love, there are no levels to it, it is either something you feel or you don’t. It is the bond which is what is different in each case.
People don’t understand bonding, animals do, but we don’t. We confuse bonding with love because it’s so often tied to it, and we relate to an animal bonding with another as Love. Love is a human concept. Only we can love thy enemies. Bonding releases chemicals and hormones in our systems creating a relationship with another person. The bond can be strong, weak, and even severed, but to say you no longer love someone because of a severed bond is often misinterpreted. You no longer care about the person? Wish them well? Hope they don’t die or get sick or are unhappy? Yes I’m sure a lot of people do, but it’s also possible that said people never loved the person to begin with, and therefore only had the bond they created with the other person.
If in relationships we toss out the concept of love, when trying to asses the relationship or work through its problems, you can then work on the real issue, devoid of confusing and conflicting emotions and thoughts. You here this a lot, “I still love him, I’m just not in love with him anymore.” The former refers to love, the latter the bond has been severed. Most of what we do towards a partner is about bonding. Things associated with love gets mixed in, but all romantic gestures and passion comes from our biology and our physiological bond. It is very possible to love people you no longer are bonded with.
I myself still love all my former girlfriends, it’s just that our bond waned and severed. This cannot change love.