A reader writes:
I’m a very good looking guy. Most girls tell me this, and I’ve gotten laid several times by dimes who just throw themselves at me. That being said, I sometimes display beta behavior with girls, because I feel there’s 2 sides to me and for whatever reason, I can’t maintain myself as either alpha, or beta. Most relationships I’ve been in end after 2 or 3 months because sadly, I start acting beta and girls lose interest. Everything you say in your blogs is spot on true in my experiences.
My question now is my latest girl. Her name is REDACTED, and she’s a pretty alpha female, if there is such a thing. I started gaming her at school REDACTED, she had a boyfriend, but she showed some interest, so I took her out for pizza, and had my alpha game goin pretty well. When we started making out in my bed she whispers in my ear “REDACTED I want you to fuck me.” Now, this threw me back because I actually liked this girl, (beta, I know) and found this pretty slutty, and rushed. I told her that we could wait, she agreed, but then I ended up banging her anyway because well, I’m a guy. It was the best sex I’d ever had, and for the next 2 months, we’d bang like this quite regularly. She would talk real dirty, tell me to ram her and what not, but she’d also buy me shit, act cute, but still break my balls and shit. She’d also complain when I was acting too aloof, she’d call it, “being tough.” Then like a fucking douchebag I started acting soft, showing too much affection, etc. She gave me the whole “i’m not interested in a relationship” line, and that was pretty much it.
We stopped talking for a month, hung out for 2 or 3 days, she acted nice to me again, then stopped. She made some attempts to get through to me which I ignored, trying to be alpha, but this backfired cuz I lost her interest all together.
Fast forward to last week. I text her happy new years and say I’ve missed her, (beta i know) and she replies the same and then she says “I love you.” (how do you interpret this?) I, like a retard, say I love you too. (I was drunk) We make plans to chill, which she cancels cuz of work, then she says she’ll let me know about hanging out in the future, which, she may never do.
I know I shouldn’t be hung up on this girl but after reading all your stuff, (like 100 articles last 2 days, awesome stuff btw, pure gold) I really wanna game this chick again and have her bouncing off my dick telling me she “loves me cock” again. I also wanna see if I can eventually tame her like I had in the beginning. Is all hope lost? Is she a complete whore? How do I game her if she won’t contact me first? How do I make the most of my situation, personally?
Ah the lure of the ‘best fuck I’ve ever had’ magic pussy. Even I have had this happen to me, believe it or not, there’s usually one girl in a guys life, that whether good with women or not, natural or not, whatever; sends you on a mental rollercoaster prodded by your insane lust for banging this golden pussy again, and again, and never losing it. It’s stronger than oneitis, because you can still criticize her in your head, you think she’s great, but you’re not putting her on a pedestal, just her pussy – or more accurately this is a passion oneitis, rather than the emotional oneitis that is most commonly described as the said infliction, and a million times harder to over come, because you’ve already banged and owned said object of desire.
Everything you did is 100% predictable. That is, your libido was telling you to get this girl back at any cost, and where does our minds go when devoid of the cold rationale of the aloof male who doesn’t care? To beta rom-com movies we’ve all suffered through. And let me tell you this, you will never rid yourself of the desire completely for this girl. Sometimes the girl isn’t even a 10 just a girl that rev’s your hormones up a thousand times more than any other girl in the past; you become a slave to your desires for her. This is also how every girl see’s themselves or hopes to be to men, yet very few ever do.
Of course girls are very astute at social cues and body language, she knew she had you, and the shit test about you acting tough etc. was because she was testing your resolve against her, which you rightfully categorized as a failure. But once you have come under spell of the pussy, then you’re done, you really can’t game your way out of it, because rather than a rock, you are feather lightly planted into the dirt and her every word and movement blow you around and eventually blow you out. My advice is to move on, as hard as it seems, the only chance, and this isn’t a very good chance, is to not care at all, and do not initiate. If she does that you may be able to get a couple of bangs if you can control yourself for long enough to do it, but it’s most likely going to produce more anguish for you.
The positive is, you will always have the memories of having sex with her, and she, nor anyone can take that away from you, when you’re a 70 year old codger you can give a little smirk while you remember your younger self banging some quality pussy. The other positive, is this can be a good wake up call for you to be prepare yourself for other alluring babes that give off the same pheromones. Learn how to control this wave and over come it, and remain a rock and in control, and you’ll get the best of both worlds, and nothing any other girl can or will have the same effect on you.
This was a fantastic read!
Thank you!
Good post, especially the classification of passion oneitis as differentiable from the typical variety.
I had an experience that sounds similar, but I came up with a different conclusion, so take this for what it’s worth. At least it would be very, very easy to test out in an effort to salvage this relationship if you want it for what it is. This is my take…
The system of the establishment must be taken into account. Your golden pussy is ‘strong and independent’ yet wants to look like a lady when she is in fact not. She cheated on her boyfriend. She has no impulse control, which is exactly why you love to fuck her and why she loves to fuck. This girl is exactly good for one thing: fucking. She is NOT wife material, NOT even girlfriend material, but she is irrationally in denial about that.
In my case, we became bf/gf and then I started being a part of her life platonically after about a month, hanging out in her apartment and being there when she got home. About this time, we started arguing for no apparent reason and the frequency and intensity got worse and worse. I ASSuMEd she wanted respect as a whole woman, but what she wanted was a reliable fuck buddy who appeared to be the respectable boyfriend of a respectable girlfriend. I should have just kept enjoying the fabulous, headcase free, monogamous sex. But no, I was beta and thought women never wanted just sex, that she wanted more. The ones that do want just sex with exclusivity are some of the best fucks in my limited and unconclusive experience. She pours her sexuality into only you for her pleasure. Stop cramping her pleasure with…anything, damn it!
Dude, if you relate in your actions (non-wordage behavior) to this only-good-for-fucking chick like she is only good for fucking, but you honor that fucking and let her have the bf/gf technicality as a technicality for reassurrance, I think she will give your reliable and probably exclusive sex that happens to be great.
My theory is not hard to test out. Just don’t want anything from her beyond basic respect you demand from anyone and the sex, and give her nothing more than basic respect and the sex. She is ruined for intimacy in a special way that liberates her sexuality, all for you if you want it and can be that rock of safety as she feels it.
Here is an example text you might try. “Hi. Since when should having great sex be so complicated. I miss fucking you.”
If she is DTF, set a time and place, do it, and leave soonish without being needy, unless she is all over you. When she is not all over you, just leave with not hard feelings so she can trust you.
If she is not DTF, forget about her. If she is not DTF because she has someone else, she will turn to you when he makes the same mistake you did. Stick to polite DTF game or nothing, if that sort of thing appeals to you. Otherwise, next her.
Whatever you try, reader hot for a golden pussy, I’d love to get the field report for reference. You can always post here.
Oneitis is oneitis. Never forget the magic rule: go fuck 10 other girls and then see how you feel about this one. Those who criticize this rule never actually went through with it. It works insanely well. At the very least, you’ll see this girl for who she is: just a good fuck.
“Ah the lure of the ‘best fuck I’ve ever had’ magic pussy. Even I have had this happen to me, believe it or not, there’s usually one girl in a guys life, that whether good with women or not, natural or not, whatever; sends you on a mental rollercoaster prodded by your insane lust for banging this golden pussy again, and again, and never losing it. It’s stronger than oneitis, because you can still criticize her in your head, you think she’s great, but you’re not putting her on a pedestal, just her pussy – or more accurately this is a passion oneitis, rather than the emotional oneitis that is most commonly described as the said infliction, and a million times harder to over come, because you’ve already banged and owned said object of desire.”
Great line Donlak!
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A friend of mine used to call that “The pussy that bites”… Once it bites, you’re done.
Often times there is gold in the comments:
“She is ruined for intimacy in a special way that liberates her sexuality, all for you if you want it and can be that rock of safety as she feels it.”
- She is ruined for intimacy in a special way that liberates her sexuality. -
This one verse… this one verse… Genius? So telling? Amen?
Could one write a sociosexuality book in one sentence?
Doug did it.
Now what is left for other men to do, is to look at the implications.
Freed sexuality? What does that say about intimacy. What does that say for the man? What is to be aimed for, how is it achieved? What will be pleasure, and what will be ultimate ruin?
Hi Donlak,
I love reading your posts. They are truly wonderful. Could you do a post on irrational confidence and how not to give a fuck about what others think because alot of us have that problem.
@finndistan Thanks for noticing and appreciating. It’s beta of me perhaps, but sometimes I get frustrated writing since I get so little feedback. But then again, one must expect a return on one’s efforts, measured according to taste after necessity, since life is finite. One time on the radio, college, just to get feedback, I tried to piss people off. lol I did in time, ’cause I’m not there anymore. I think you are a brother in wisdom. The occassional independent confirmation of what I consider profound keeps me from thinking I must be inexplicably crazy. I reiterate, to whom it may concern, an update field report would be awesome because reality is where rubber meets the road. Everybody have a kick ass Saturday night!
Thanks for the comments guys, allow me to add a few more tidbits to this tale. When we stopped talking the second time, I found out she went and found one of my good friends, invited herself over his place, showed up in sweatpants, said “Im sleeping over”, then fucked him. Apparently they fucked about 12 times after that. I found this out recently. Could she have been trying to get my attention? She doesn’t know I know, and I was gonna say something like “heard u fucked my boy BLANK, stay classy”, but obviously I don’t wanna show that I care too much. Btw, I texted her “what up slutbag” the other night, she responds with 3 texts, I say “my place, 8″ she says she can’t then texts me later that her “mom is moving out.” Idk what to make of it, but I do wanna bang her again haha. I also wanna add that her parents were divorced at age 3, and she has told me in the past how her father doesn’t show her any love or affection. (lives 4 hours away, treats her shitty) I read that girls with absent or shitty fathers act slutty cuz they were abandoned by the first man that was supposed to love them. They’ll do anything for male attention. I’m sure Donlak has some thoughts on this topic, love to hear what you guys think.
@B2A
All just one non-alpha man’s conjecture: The safe harbor frame gets the Goldie P. sex. She will stray without a father alpha type. Father alpha is in between bad boy and nice guy, but then a little sideways into experienced maturity.
If you are a ‘very good looking guy’, I am not sure you can’t find better elsewhere. I know, I know, but the pussy is golden. You have all the knowledge on this girl with her father issues. Be the father fuck. She does not need a neg or judgment (against). She is ruined. She needs a safe harbor of reassuring fucking. If you want to fuck her, I think you need to go back to the basics of being nonjudgmental, as opposed to calling her ‘slutbag’. If you could add sentimentality (what she lacks with her father), she will not dare stray, I think. But then again, I am not there.
I am no alpha, so take what I say with a grain of salt here. I am older, mid-40s. How old is Goldie P. and how old are you? I think I see a lack of maturity in your text game relative to what is needed, just my opinion. She has father issues (old guy) not rebellion issues (young guy). Think more like an old man who loves his little girl on this one. You’re doing more what a young man would do, competing after first victory with his buddy for the same piece of ass, so I am guessing you are young and generally acting cocky. You might not be ready for old man game, or you might want to add it.
I’m glad this got posted. Being an old man, I will be looking for the hot woman who will be loyal and totally sexual with just me simply for some fatherly reassurance. Next time a chic tells me she has ‘father issues’, I have a model to guide my actions: ruined intimacy fearfully clutching for emotional harbor and additively testing and reestablishing that safety with sexual investment and gratification. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. A girl like that would never just lay there. I hope I get a chance to test my theory. “Awww, you poor baby. Come to daddy.”
On why she fucked your friend, I am not sure it matters, even if it did, I mean, how accountable is a woman like this for her actions? Does not sound like a get-even fuck to me. Yes, could be a make-jealous fuck, but after the first time, a total of eleven times then, she has moved on to her prime motives I think. Maybe your friend has qualities similar to you, or she thought he might? All that matters is your frame, and adjusting it with your skill to suit your potential target(s).
I think she just needs constant reassurance and will solicit anywhere until she gets it. Your friend was convenient and safe. Beware the mileage. Are you convenient and safe? What did your friend do exactly? If he plays her right, you won’t be getting her back. Twelve times. How many times did you get? You know if he is enlightened enough or not to keep her.
Thanks the reply. She is 20, I’m 24. She went after my friend cuz she likes the alpha cock carousel. He did nothing besides let her come over and make all the plans to fuck. They dont talk anymore, thats her style. I prolly got the same number of times with a similar end result, although im confident the dynamics were more passionate in our encounters than theirs. The problem is i’ve already crumbled in front of her before. What I mean by that is i’ve shown my worst beta side. In the beginning, I was the total opposite. I had her wrapped and she couldnt get enough. I am always initiating, usually I’ll do it once a month for the last few months but I dont want to anymore cuz I look desperate. Problem is, if I don’t text her, she’ll never text me. I prolly should move on but one more bang is all I want.
It’s this “one more bang” issue that is making your game weak and it will destroy you if you let it. You must learn to let go.
Should I try to fuck her best friend? I see her a lot and she was eyeing my shit today. She’s also an alpha whore. Thoughts?
Is she hot? Do you want to fuck her? If yes then go for it. If no, then your trying to angle how to get at the chick u want, and chicks don’t think like guys, it won’t work like you want.
yes and yes. thanks for the advice haha
An alpha you are not yet, B2A. Become one with the force (human pack instincts) and you will be seduction incarnate. Wanting them you is better what to want, emmh, yes. Then you choose low hanging fruit at pleasure. Calibration from platonic seduction practice of all hamster drones at large, emm, yes. Higher quality girls, yes, more precise button response, emmh, teachable moments, learn Jedi mind tricks. “These are not the cockass you are looking for.” “I am Alpha with the cockass everybody wants.” lutz Attachment (just not to self if real life master) is forbidden. The Dark Side has enriching, complementary powers, yes, correct in that is the emperor, but for Dark Triad energies attachment leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to mangina suffering. Attachment to self expressed with instinctual force, this is general practice first, then season your pack confidence to taste of compliant babe worth effort in current moment, emm, yes. “Daddy wanna play hide the light saber.” Press buttons while strong with the force and reading drone pathways, emm, yes. Read The Read Queen and The Selfish Gene, emm, yes, the genetic pathways of the hamster. “Whatever, sweetie, but hide my light saber again.” Umm, yes.
The RED Queen by Matt Ridley. The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins.
Donlak was spot on when he said the golden pussy doesnt have to be a 10. This girl is prolly a flat eight, big nose and cheeks. I will not initiate though, deleted her number. I will take your advice Donlak and use this as fuel for the future. Reality Doug, thanks for the advice, looks like I will be waiting for her to come to me. In the meantime, I’ll work on others, her friend for sure.
I can completely relate to this one. The lure of the golden pussy is different than oneitis, though. You can have oneitis and still yearn for the golden pussy of the past…that one girl who yea, you know you could never be with long term, but damn was the sex passionate, crazy, wanton.
I have a girlfriend who I love (oneitis style) and the golden pussy still lures me. I guess it’s the evolutionary impulse to want to get more more try at planting your seed?
My golden pussy is a Latin American girl from when I was living in Paraguay…I was a contextual alpha and discovered how wet that makes girls with no effort on my part. It’s almost tragic how well it worked in the circumstances, as I will never be able to duplicate them.
Keep up the quality posts Donlak. Still haven’t come across one I thought wasn’t a great read.
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